Marseillie v Arsenal Champions League Group Stage

These were not the scenes on this evening at the Stade Veldrome as reconstruction caused capacity to be limited to 30,000 and make the match appear on Television as if no body was there. Europe!


Player Ratings

Arsenal

Wojciech Szczęsny - 6 - He had precious little to do all evening, and apart from a near repeat of last year's carling cup disaster with his compatriot koscielny, it was a routine night. He's shown the tendency now to stray a little far from his six yard box on occasion though.

Laurent Koscielny - 7.5 - He was a rock at the back, covering tons of ground, and winning everything in the air. His life will get a lot easier when Vermaalen returns.

Per Mertesacker - 5 - If you watch him play, it almost looks as if he himself isn't convinced that he should be out there. He didn't have the worst game in the world, but was left for dead by Remy and others on several occasions and just simply does not possess the requisite speed to play center back at this level.

André Santos -4- - I'm not sure Arsenal fans realize how good they had it with Gael Clichy. Santos is clearly comfortable going forward, but he also clearly has his PhD from the Brazilian Academy of Defending. How lazy can you be, honestly? I'm not sure if he's out of shape or he just figures none of the millions watching will notice how poor his marking is. Gibbs must be preferred to him.

Carl Jenkinson - 6 - This was a positive learning lesson in the young career of Jenkinson. Fans might have been frustrated for his insistence on the first time cross, but he is a limited young lad who is just trying to hang with the big boys, so you shouldn't blame him for playing to his strengths.


Alex Song - 7 - After his atrocious early hiccup he turned in another vintage workmanlike performance that you can't say enough about. He time and time again bails out what is otherwise a rather frail outfit with his tireless running and closing down. When you put yourself in harms way as often as he does, we might owe him a bit of margin for error as he could have gifted Marseille a goal on two occasions this evening.

Mikel Arteta- 6.5 - It was a nice and tidy game for the Spaniard who is doing an admirable job filling the gaping hole left by a certain other Spaniard in arsenal's midfield. His premiership experience is proving valuable and he has shown a welcome willingness to win the ball back on occasions. You'd like to see him play a few more incisive final balls though.

Tomas Rosicky - 6 - Similar to Arteta, he had a nice clean game and made a few timely tackles on occasion, although he faded a bit in the second half. I fear his best years may be behind him however, two years with niggling hamstrings will do that to you I suppose.


Andrei Arshavin - 4 - Call it disinterested or whatever you like, but something is clearly not right with Shava. You're willing to forgive his ludicrous backheels when he's scoring goals and running at people, but not when he's giving the ball away routinely. Something needs to change, quickly.

Theo Walcott -5.5- He is such an asset solely for his pace, that you always want to have him out there even when he isn't at his best. Probably had the best chance of the game fall to his feet and couldn't convert. Wonder what he would look like playing as a striker.

Robin Van Persie- 7- Enjoy him while he lasts Arsenal fans, because he's long overdue for that annual ankle sprain, muscle problem. He's sure turning in some solid performances at the moment though, and I hope more than anyone that he stays healthy. It's only history that isn't on his side.

Subs -

Djourou- Arsenal certainly didn't lose anything when he came on for the injured Jenkinson. He did have an extended run a CB last year, so he should be comfortable.

Gervinho - Looked useful, seems to be comfortable with his role as a support winger/striker.

Ramsey - Right place, right time, tidy finish.

Marseille

Steve Mandanda - 7 - Steve-o! This rating might be a little inflated due to him executing the biggest punch I have ever seen in a competitive match. It almost flew to the halfway line. Kudos, but Lloris really flew by you, huh?

Nicolas N'Koulou - 7 - He was the Koscielny to Marseille's Mertesacker. Really solid performance, and kept RVP in relative check.

Souleymane Diawara - 4 - Provided several head-scratching moments and sliced clearances. Somewhat redeemed himself when he headed off the line, but he made way too many mistakes for a centerback.

Jérémy Morel - 5 - Although they never amounted to anything, most of Arsenal's attacking was coming down the right-hand side where he was supposedly defending. Provided a few decent crosses but nothing of consequence.

César Azpilicueta - 5.5 - Hardly heard his fun-sounding name called all night, might be owed some credit for the ineffectiveness of Arshavin.

Alou Diarra - 6.5 - Solid game from the French international, he had better be preferred to old man Toulalan next summer.


Benoit Cheyrou - 6 - His trusty left peg couldn't find the killer pass, but he put in a good shift and was active throughout.


Lucho González - 5 - For a man with such a reputation that was a rather inconspicuous performance. Maybe its the new haircut, but I think I like the old Lucho back in his Porto days.

Andre Ayew - 5.5 - He proved that he knows how to draw a foul, and often times win a card, but you'd have like to see more end product from the talented Ghanian.

Loïc Remy - 5.5 - Surely he's had better nights, but was largely starved for service in the first half when Marseille had the better of their chances.

Mathieu Valbuena - 5 - You had to like his ambition, and his constant involvement, but the final ball was too often unforgiveable, and he will need to play better in Europe if he wants to keep his place in the national team.

Subs

Gignac - Lively when he came on, could have used twenty more minutes.

Arsenal Verdict - Having themselves been on the wrong end of so many late goals, this will no doubt be a glorious flight back to London having stolen points and now sitting comfortably atop the group. With their domestic hopes essentially dashed after a few weeks, it will be interesting to see if Arsene can channel his team's efforts towards Europe, but it's still plain as day that Arsenal are missing two or three key players.


Marseille Verdict - They will feel extremely hard done, and it is a harsh result, but all is not lost as Dortmund emphatically lost in Athens which means they are still nicely poised to progress. Deschamps will be kicking himself for having not attacked more, and I'd expect them to come out guns blazing in the reverse fixture.

MOTM - Koscielny

10/2/11 Arsenal @ Spurs : This Time It's Personal

Arsenal


Szczesny- 6 - Another solid performance for the young Pole behind what is quickly becoming the worst defense in the premier league. His rating would be higher, and he’ll tell you he should have saved Walker’s shot, but that knuckling swerver was just too wicked for Wojech.

Sagna – 5.5 – Was caught out of position for the first goal, but provided his usual support on the right flank and delivered his token well-shaped crosses when he could. Bale's explosion after he went off was testament to his abilities as a defender. His broken leg couldn’t have come at a worse time for Arsenal, and his experience in a critical position will be sorely missed.

Sidenote* - Sagna is just the latest victim of the old “not enough room in between the pitch and the advertisements ploy” to be seriously injured. The only ground that is worse than Shite Hart Lane in this respect is Craven Cottage and it is a wonder that these things don’t happen more often. Just as it never ceases to amaze me how they let all the photographers sit so close to the baseline in the NBA under the basket while million dollar athletes are forced to trod over them like IEDs at full speed practically begging for an awkward landing wrist break. Someone should eliminate these stupid little subtleties because it would not be that hard.

Mertesacker, - 1.5 – where to start with this trainwreck. There isn't that much more to say after that performance. It was painfully obvious that old Per is carrying about 3 sacks too many to be quick enough for the premier league. His physical ineptitude is almost to the point where it’s hard not to empathize with him. At least Wenger has now answered every middle aged white man’s question of “I wonder what it would look like if I tried to play center back in the prem?” He’s 2 meters tall and he didn’t win a single header all day, what more do you need to know!

Song, 6.5- Had a rough first twenty minutes or so, but then settled into the game and was the only player in an Arsenal shirt that looked like he halfway knew how to defend. He kept Adebayor in check for the most part, and showed his improvement going forward this year by setting up the fist goal. He did about as well as one could considering his partner in central defense is an early candidate for Wenger's worst signing ever.

Gibbs; 6- Another decent but frustrating performance from the youngster. The potential is clearly there, and maybe he would be better suited to play left-mid. But until then, he has a long way to go to fill the boots of Gael Clichy, certainly from a defending standpoint.


Arteta,5.5- provided the much-needed calming, veteran presence at times, but just as often was not effective with his delivery which is generally his main strength. He was willing to get physical at times, but he will need to be far more aggressive if Song is going to continue in defense.

Coquelin, 7.5- Unbelievable first half. Faded a bit in the second, but that was to be expected. He certainly looked a different player from his debut at Old Trafford, A definite upgrade from a certain Denilson.

Ramsey; 3.5- His momma probably told him they’ll be days like these, and at least he can say he scored at the lane, but Arsenal would have been better served if he had stayed home and played with himself. His decision making was especially poor, he had several dangerous giveaways, and he’s another that can’t wait for Wilshire to get back and take some of the load off his shoulders.

Gervinho,-6 Has adapted to the speed of the English game well enough, should have put Arsenal up 1-0, appears competent enough to play on both flanks. Will prove to be a good signing after its all said and done, but his doubters might wonder if he's a bit toothless in front of goal.

Walcott 6– Showed the confidence to cut inside and take a shot on with his left foot on a couple of occasions. He wasn't terrible, but the expectations around Theo for him to walk on water make it such that every time he doesn’t, it feels like a disappointment. This was another one of those games.

Van Persie, 7 - he had an unconventional, yet decent game. Winning headers and showing his more physical side, he turned Kaboul a couple of times and should have set up the opening goal if not for Gervino dragging his shot wide.

Subs -

Arshavin - Remember how good he was at Euro 2008? Seems like a long time ago...

Benayoun - Never really convinced at Liverpool, hardly got a game at Chelsea, looks pretty useless at Arsenal.

Jenkinson - Poor, Poor Carl Jenkinson. He's got some rough games ahead of him.


Spurs

Friedel;7 Like a bottle of wine, this old goalie just gets better with age, and he didn’t put a foot wrong all match.

Walker –7 Showed his strength and ability as a defender in the first half. Deserved his goal with a viscous right footer.

Kaboul,5.5 - Gave us glimpses of good Younes and bad Younes. He's certainly not shy about throwing his weight around either.

King, - 5.5 He was mostly absent for huge chunks of the game, but I suppose that’s what one might have come to expect from the former England international. Is he fully fit?

Assou-Ekotto;5 He was guilty of allowing Walcott too much space, but got away with it. Largely uninvolved in proceedings.

Parker, 6.5- much like alex song, he started wobbly, and then settled into the game. Showed where he is at his best in closing down the inexperienced Ramsey on several occasions.

Modric, 4.5- hasn’t looked up to scratch yet this season. Wasn't involved as much as you'd expect. Could it still be a hangover from all the transfer talk?

Van der Vaart, 6 - He looked a little hefty coming into the season and is begging to pick up another hamstring injury. Great finish on the goal though.

Bale -8.5- Scary. I would be having nightmares all week if I was a right back and I knew I was playing tottenham. What he did to Jenkinson in the last 15 was almost comical. Oh, and he’s got a shot on him too boy, tell you what…

Defoe,5.5- You never know what you're gonna get from Jermaine. He held the ball up well enough, but could have been more clinical in the final third.

Adebayor 7 – Excellent in the first half. Add him to the long list of strikers that loves to play against Arsenal. Might have set a personal record for fewest lazy offsides in a game with only 4. Seems to fit well enough at spurs and alongside Defoe.




Arsenal Verdict - The fact that they can't defend is the worst kept secret in the footballing world. They'd almost be better served to keep the game level until late on due to their inability to hold a lead. Solid performances from Szczesny and Coquelin are positives for Wenger to take, but his insistence on not buying a third legitimate central defender will plague Arsenal until he does, and this is inevitably going to be a painfully long season for Arsenal.

Spurs Verdict - Although Arsenal dominated possession and were the better team for the larger part of the game, the outcome was never really in doubt. Their superiour squad depth has to lend credit to the pundits who deemed this game "the changing of the guard" of North London. Should be an interesting battle with Liverpool for the coveted fourth spot.

Deyan Man City Vs Bayern

Bayern Munich 2 v Man City 0 Player Ratings 9/27/11

Overall Verdict- A game which was fairly even in the 1st half turned into a stroll in the park for Bayern in the 2nd. Bayerns late goals in the 1st allowed them to dominate possession in the 2nd and take a stranglehold on this group of death. Besides the brilliance of Joe Hart, City were extremely disappointing all over the pitch and are now in a perilous position to make it out of the group stages.

Bayern
Neur 6.5- Dealt well w/ the little he had to deal with.
Boateng 8- Fantastic defensive display for the former Man City man, specifically the goal saving tackle on Aguero in the 2nd.
Van Buyten 7- Very solid performance but truthfully he didn’t really have to do much today w/ City looking so raged. Had a nice header which led to the 2nd goal.
Lahm 6.5- Made the game difficult for Silva and allowed Ribery to do his thing in front of him.
Rafinha 6.5- Didn’t allow Nasri any room throughout.
Shweinsteger 7.5- Slow start but dominated the game as it went on. Had some blistering shots from outside the box that Hart did well to parry. Was in complete control for the entire second half.
Dias 7- Solid all the way around. Protected the defense like a CDM should and never allowed City’s potent attacking threat anytime on the ball.
Ribery 9- Best player in the first half. Best player in the 2nd half. Is he back to his pre World Cup form as one of the best offensive players in the world? Yes def. He looked unstoppable everytime he was on the ball, never seemed to waste possession, and is a force to deal with when in full sprint. His upper body strength really impressed me and his stunning strike led to the 1st goal.
Muller 7- Some nice crosses from the right wing in the first half and had a solid all-around performance.
Kroos 7- Tidy in possession and fantastic delivery on set pieces.
Gomez 7.5- Right place right time for both tap-ins. Has overtaken Klose and Inzaghi in becoming one of the best goal poachers in the world.
All subs N/A- Game was dead and buried when they came on.

Man City
Hart 8- Fantastic game for Englands true #1. The fact that both of Bayerns goals came directly after diving stops from Hart showed how hard he was to beat today. The scoreline was flattering to City solely because they have this world class keeper.
Toure 4.5- Weak comeback performance today. You can tell he has barely played this year based of this weak showing.
Kompany 6.5- Another solid performance from the Belgium. The only outfield player for City that played up to par.
Richards 5- Extremely disappointing today. For a man in such good form, he looked helpless against the fantastic Ribery and offered little in attack.
Clichy 5- Lacked much going forward and in defense.
Barry 4- Looks out of his element sometimes when he goes against such strong opposition. He is a decent passer w/ no speed, little strength on the ball, and weak tackling. Yet for some reason he seems like an automatic starter for City and England. After his weak showing today and De Jong coming back from injury I hope Mancini drops him for the Manchester derby coming up.
Yaya 4.5- Didn’t offer anything today.
Silva 6- City’s best attacking player and had his worst game of the season. That pretty much sums up how disappointing City were today. He showed his class and surprisingly had some nice slide tackles but didn’t offer the invention and break through passing he normally possesses.
Nasri 4.5- If he is fighting w/ Ribery for the starting LW spot on Frances national team then he has no chance. Couldn’t get going today and he needs to step up his game quickly if Man city want to get to the knockout stages.
Dzeko 5- Had some nice linkup play in the first half but lacked conviction when in or near the box.
Aguero 5- Frustrating game for the Argentine as he seemed to be chasing the ball for most of the match as Bayern dominated.
Subs- Kolarav 6.5- Looked dangerous when he came on and had one nice cracker that Neur did well to save.
Milner, De Jong 5.5-Could never seem to get possession of the ball.
Refs 7- Great game but didn’t get a good replay of the 2nd goal to see if Gomez was offside or not.
TEVEZ -9 - He gets paid over $300,000 a week and refuses to come on in the 2nd. He is a disgrace to soccer and the perfect example on what is wrong with the game these days. Players and agents have too much power and something needs to change. He will never play for Man City ever again so the question lies- where is his next stop? Hmmm Madrid???

Deyan's Man City Everton

Player Ratings Man City 2 v. Everton 0 9/24/11

Man City

Hart- 6 He had a tiny hiccup on a floating cross in first half but he kept his clean sheet. Due to Evertons 10 man defending, he was a spectator throughout.

Richards- 8.5 Simply a beast among men. In the first half he was the best player on the pitch and the games best attacking outlet. He faded at the end but showed why he should be Englands RB.

Kompany- 7 Best defender in the world? Maybe… Another solid performance from the Belgium CB.

Lescott- 6.5 Didn’t have to do much but like his CB partner he did his job well when called upon.

Clichy- 6 Showed his fabulous endurance when bombarding down the left flank and put in some dangerous crosses but didn’t offer anything else. Everton gave him infinites amount of space and he couldn’t take advantage of it.

Barry- 6 Had some nice tackles and passes but had no invention or conviction.

Toure- 6.5 Solid game from the lil bro and had a great shot in the 2nd which Howard did well to save.

Silva- 8.5 Even though he was man marked by the uncompromising Rodwell for the first 75 mins, he was still able to show the pure class he possesses. Unlucky to hit the post and simply a beautiful setup for Milners goal.

Nasri- 7.5 Showed his class throughout w/ some neat touches and tidy passing. No final product.

Dzeko- 4.5 Poor game by a man in good form. He had some good close control takedowns but he couldn’t take advantage of some half chances that came his way.

Aguero- 7.5 Dangerous everytime he is on the ball. He has so many dif skills on display and set up Bolatellis goal w/ strength and smarts.

Bolatelli- 7.5 Super sub w/ the luckily deflected goal. Looked dangerous when he came on but still pouts to the refs way too much.

Milner- 6.5 Finally his first goal for City. He took his goal well and looked lively.

Savic- 6 Well positioned to clear ball of line at end.

Everton

Howard- 7 A couple solid saves (especially on the Toure blast) and was unfortunate w/ the deflected goal.

Hibbert- 6 Decent defending, nothing more.

Distin- 8 Fantastic defending throughout the game until he backed off too quick on
Silva for Milners late goal.

Jagielka- 5.5 Everywhere on defense but the little errors and weak defending at points weren’t going to cut it against such strong opposition.

Baines- 7.5 Great runs down the left like always but he couldn’t deliver the final product in this one. If he hasn’t already, he should take over for Ashley Cole as Englands starting LB shortly.

Neville- 4.5 He played in this game? Anonymous throughout.

Rodwell- 7 Had to man mark one of the top players in the world at the moment and did an admirable job at that. Endurance in abundance and could be Englands starting CM by EuroCup if he keeps improving.

Coleman- 6 A couple nice runs and touches. Nothing more.

Cahill- 6 Was forward turned defender for essentially the entire match until he was injured off.

Fellani- 6.5 Like his strike partner he did a solid job defending but offered lil in attack.

Saha- 6.5 Looked positive when he entered in the 2nd and should be back in Moyes’ plans by next game w/ this performance.

Drenthe- 5 Terrible ball that led to Man Citys 2nd.
Vellios- 5.5 N/A

Ref
Webb- 7 Early yellow cards were slightly questionable but were the correct calls in my opinion. Only call he got wrong was when Saha got decked in the 2nd and he let the game play on but a very solid performance from Englands top referee.

Man City Everton Player Ratings

On a scale of 1-10

Tim Howard– 5.5 - Wasn’t to blame for either of the goals, and made the saves that he should have. Was his usual spastic self when rightly berating his defenders for not closing Silva or Aguero down.

Tony “Dr.” Hibbert- 5 - Did well enough to stay out of harm’s way in the first period, and is probably due some credit for Samir Nasri not getting on the ball at all for 70 minutes.

Phil Jagielka- 3.5 - The usually reliable Jagielka was guilty of a couple of uncharacteristic lapses in judgment. His headed back-pass could have gifted City the opening goal, and again was let off when David Silva cut inside him inside the box. His day unceremoniously culminated in a needless yellow card out of frustration for hacking down Balotelli.

Sylvain Distin- 5.5 - Stood up well on numerous occasions and had a decent game. He might have made it a little more difficult for Silva to play in Milner for the second goal.

Leighton Baines- 6.5 - In a game that featured both of England’s purported fullbacks Baines was overshadowed by his opposite Micah Richards. That doesn’t take away from the great start to the game he had, and the fact that Everton look the most dangerous going forward when the play goes through him. There aren’t many left backs you can say that about.

Phil Neville- 4 - You wouldn’t have even known he was on the pitch if it weren’t for his bleached blond hair (going a little grey there Phil?). Was unlucky to get a yellow card, but he can hardly have any complaints after a couple of costly giveaways and a toothless performance from the captain.

Jack Rodwell- 3.5 - This probably won’t be the last time that someone is assigned the thankless task of following little David Silva around wherever he goes. That being said, Rodwell left much to be desired in accomplishing this task, and an early yellow card didn’t help his cause.

Mauroane Fellaini- 5 - It wasn’t his fault that his manager decided to deploy him essentially as a second striker in what might be one of the most negative formations I’ve seen. He is still a physical force to be reckoned with and won his share of headers. If only there was someone in front of him…

Leon Osman- 4 - Another Everton player that you might not have noticed was on the pitch were it not for Howard Webb handing out yellow cards like valentines. He was beaten for pace on a couple of occasions but none proved too costly. He also failed to provide anything resembling an attacking outlet which is the stronger part of his game.

Seamus Coleman- 4.5 - Somewhat atoned for his ‘mare of a first half by getting a few crosses and dribbles in down the right-hand side in the second. Although it has to be said Clichy always looked the victor in the mini-battle with the young Irishman.

Tim Cahill- 4.5- Again, he can’t be blamed for his manager’s tactics, but he undoubtedly suffered from them. When your lone striker is defending inside your 18 for extended stretches of the game, you are asking for trouble. He capped off the day by hurting himself when he was lucky not to have injured Kompany.

Subs
Louis Saha- So that’s what playing with an actual striker looks like.

“Rolls” Royston Drenthe-Bad-boy Drenthe has all the tools in the toolbox, but I doubt Everton is the best place for him.

Denis Stracqualursi- No relation to that joke of an Arsenal center half, we hope.

Man City

Joe Hart- 4.5 - It seemed like he didn’t have anything to do all day. The two times he was called into action he made a couple of dubious decisions and was lucky Fellani panicked when he was caught off his line.

Micah Richards- 8 - Arrrre you watching Fab-i-o? His physical gifts are so ridiculous that he just powers past people like they are children. He just as valuable at either end of the pitch and if he isn’t playing right back for England, something is seriously wrong.


Joleon Lescott- 5.5 - He too didn’t have all that much to do, and he stood up to his former teammates on the sparse occasions that he had to. He still looks prone to making the rare howler though, and you just wonder if center defense might be the chink in the veritable City armor.

Vincent Kompany- 6 - The Belgian has really cemented his place in Mancini’s 11. He looked comfortable on occasions that he was invited to dribble forward, and he might have considered himself lucky to escape a yellow card when Howard Webb inexplicably didn’t blow for a clear foul on Saha on the edge of the box.

Gael Clichy- 6.5 - Another City defender that had an excellent game. His crossing has really improved over the years, and he delivered several nice balls in with pace. The only part of his game that is lacking is his shooting and Everton were happy to let him have a pop more than once.

Samir Nasri- 5.5 - Was useful on occasions that he got on the ball, but he might have fallen victim to the “too many cooks” that occupy Mancini’s kitchen. He is far more dangerous when in the center of the park and it will be interesting to see how Mancini uses him going forward.

Garreth Barry- 6 - Stellar performance, he seems to be comfortable staying out of the way on offense and letting the maestros work their magic. He had the kind of performance defensive midfielders must dream about, getting back and breaking up attacks and staying out of the limelight.

Yaya Toure- 4 - In what has to be one of the worst performances I’ve seen from the Ivorian in recent memory, it luckily for him, couldn’t have affected his team less. Normally vicious going forward, he chose the wrong option on several occasions, and seemed content to whine to the referee instead of playing to the whistle.

David Silva- 7.5 - Although David Moyes did his worst, this little lefty is just about unstoppable at the moment. This was hardly Silva at his finest, but he was still clearly the most influential man on the pitch. He can surely expect more of the same man-marking treatment going forward, and probably from meaner men than Jack Rodwell


Edin Dzeko- 4.5 - Uninspired performance from the Bosnian. He showed good strength to hold the ball up at times, but you just wonder if he really fits Many City’s slick passing style. Surely it’s only a matter of time before Tevez gets his fitness back and big Edin joins the ever-crowded city bench.

Sergio Aguero-7.5 - My, my, my. If there’s ever been a less seamless transition to the premiership, then I’d like to see it. Give him an inch and he’ll take a foot. He did really well to carve out a chance from nothing in the first half, and even better to tee up Balotelli for the first goal.

Subs
Mario Balotelli – Is there a more entertaining player to watch for all the wrong reasons other than Super Mario?

James Milner – You still can’t tell me that he doesn’t regret his decision to leave Aston Villa. At least Ashley Young starts every game.

Samic Sandwich – Who? Couldn’t Arsenal use you?

Everton Verdict- In what was essentially a 4-6-0 formation, Everton executed their game plan for the first hour or so, but when deploying such tactics it’s hard to feel begrudged when you concede off a deflection. Saha will say he still has plenty left in the tank, but why is that they always seem desperately thin at striker? They look a comfy mid-table side.

Man City Verdict- They were hardly at their best, and yet the result never really seemed in doubt. Detractors will still have their doubts, the chief of which being whether dissention will creep into the dressing room. Pablo Zabaleta had better get comfy riding the pine as should Adam “what do I have to do to get a game” Johnson. But if Silva and Aguero can sustain this level then they have to be the favorites for the league.

Premiership Predictions Part Deux

10. Bolton - Owen Coyle is no Sam Allardyce, he's not as big of an ass, but that only makes Bolton just another team instead of a team who's easy to hate. And its hard not to root for Stuart Holden, our only other non-GK not named Clint who gets regular time in the Prem. Why did Donovan leave Everton? Oh yeah, because he likes making mexican lotto commercials, and LA traffic. Bolton will be right smack in the middle of the table where they belong. Next.

9. Fulham - The classic small market team. And there's the American affinity with McBride and Bocanegra, and don't forget Eddie Johnson. I still don't really believe the success that Dempsey has had the past two years, but I can't argue with it. Fulham are a solid team, watching Haangeland attack corners is entertaining, but they're not going to blow anyone out of the water. Should challenge for Europe if Bobby Zamora stays healthy.


8. Everton - Hard not to like what the toffees bring to the table. Remember when they played liverpool like 4 times in 10 days and there was a total of 2 goals? They've been known to lay the odd stinker, but they always seem to get a lot out of their guys in the Tim Cahill, Phil Jagielka vein. Louis Saha is one of my favorites, and I hope he can stay healthy this year. They only tend to let themselves down with their atrocious starts to the season. Maybe David Moyes and Steve Bruce should trade notes.
should i give him the stick?

7. Villa - I hope that they can return to the Villa of two years ago, granted they'll have to do it again after selling their two best players so I don't want to get too carried away. But if Agbonlahor is healthy and Nzogbia plays up to his level they should be in Europe. I bet James Milner is getting pretty tired of Adebayor's company on the Man City bench, and I wonder if Ashley Young and Downing will get their time. Think of how stacked this team would be if everyone stuck around... But anyway the main player I'm looking forward to watching of theirs is good old Mr. Given. No better keeper in the premiership for my money.
goodbye butters.

6. Spurs - Ahh, good old Spurs, Man City kind of stole their thunder as the threat to the traditional big 4, but they've taken some significant strides in the past couple years under arry oudini. But as is the case with another North-London club, you're never quite convinced that they are going come good in the end. Spurs are like the cool stepparent that starts out too good to be true and inevitably disappoints. Luka Modric played like the Rosicky of old last year, Van Der Vaart is one of those guys who has that sixth sense of letting the game come to him, and Garreth Bale is probably the best left-sider in the world. No, attacking is not their problem. The fact that they ran Gomes out there for as long as they did and kind of lived to tell about it is comical enough. Spurs, liverpool and arsenal make up the second tier of premiership clubs if you ask me.
i'll have a royale with cheese

5. Liverpool - What ever happened to Steven Gerrard, he used to be my favorite player to watch, I guess age will do that to you. Suarez will be loved by the Kop and loathed by the rest of England for his typical Latino antics and serpentine personality. (lest we forget what he did to Ghana) And Dirk Kuyt's work rate, blah, blah, blah. Downing will help, you love a natural left footer on the wing. Adam Johnson, N'zogbia, Downing, they're all devastating. They have a strong enough squad on paper to play with anyone, they just need to prove to themselves that they can put stretches together like they are capable of. They could easily knock Arsenal out of 4th this year.
That was probably going in

4. Arsenal - Stubborn old Bob Crachit Uncle Scrooge Arsene Wenger. We get it that its him against the world, we get the refusal to sign players to fill the obvious needs of the club which have been the same for the past 6 years. It almost doesn't matter or not whether Wenger is crazy or he truly believes that this group of players can win at this point, (which he would have to be crazy to think, because we've seen the answer the past 5 is a resounding no, no they can't). One almost has to conclude that Wenger is now just being stubborn for stubborn's sake and that Arsenal are going to play their passing football, concede soft goals, score incredible goals, and not win any silverware. Why the hell else would he not sign like 8 league 2 defenders and run them out there instead of Sebastien Squillaci, Sol Campbell, Mikel Silvestre, and Philippe Senderos. What kind of odds could you get on Van Persie playing more than 30 premier league games this year?

3. Chelsea - Certainly their squad is deep and talented enough to withstand the grind of the season, and it's incredible that they were still in the hunt last year as bad as they played for a whole 2 months. But you have to wonder about the chemistry, especially up top with Torres and Drogba who haven't ever looked comfortable together, and throw in the whole Anelka factor who you get the feeling that he might not be comfortable even playing alongside himself. Malouda is the player that really fascinates me though, it's not often that you play better in the premiership than you do in France, but that's exactly what's happened to old Flourent. They'll be robust at the back though, bet your bottom dollar.

2. Mercianary City - The Hessians are coming. Is this the best team money can buy? Not quite. But that bench is getting pretty crowded. If you were James Milner, SW-P, Adam Johnson, Clichy what would you do? You'd really rather piss away the prime of your career for 20 minutes a game instead of being a star on Aston Villa or Newcastle or wherever just so you can train with Balotelli? I know I would not, and I think that causes some palpable tension to linger around City all the time. That's why I don't quite trust them like I do United or Chelsea where everyone knows their roles and is 100% for the team. City feels more like a recurring tryout for some kind of perverted fantasy all-star team. How are they going to find Jo any playing time? I'm a Balotelli unintentional comedy fan


1. United - They'll have their work cut out for them, but as long as that gum-chewing tight ass is on the sidelines and Phil Dowd is prowling the grounds, they're always going to be the favorites. No honestly, Ferguson might be the most feared man in the premiership, but that doesn't substitute for the all-too-predictable miraculous comebacks they pull out of their ass week in and week out. I have to think that Dimitar is getting a little tired of riding the pine behind Chicharito, and it will be interesting to see just how deep Rooney will continue to drop into midfield before he is actually playing Scholes position, and hey, now that he's gone...

To Recap, thats:
The Pick of the Litter: 1) United, 2) City, 3) Chelsea
The Second Cut: 4) Arsenal, 5) Liverpool, 6) Spurs
The Steady Eddies: 7) Villa, 8) Everton, 9) Fulham, 10) Bolton
The Mixed Bags: 11) Stoke City, 12) Sunderland, 13) Newcastle, 14) West Brom
The Fortunate Sons: 15)Norwich, 16) Wolves, 17) Blackburn
The Long Goodbyes: 18) Wigan, 19) QPR, 20)Swansea

Premiership 11/12 Predictions Part One

Whats up world. Been a pretty long layoff I know, and it's interesting to see the spam and riff-raff that has accumulated over these few months of inactivity, but that doesn't mean I can't come in here and throw-down a little premiership preview, right? Anyway here's a brief synopsis for each team, what their ceiling is, maybe a player to keep an eye on, and where I think they'll finish. Without further ado...

20. & 19. Swansea & QPR, I'm not going to sit here and act like I know a damn thing about either of these two teams. QPR is an intriguing acronym, and Swansea has a nice ring to it too, but I think I'd rather see Crystal Palace back in the prem. Crystal Palace...just rolls off the tongue.

18. Wigan - Another great name, and sentimental favorites of mine for several years now, (I can't help but think of Greg screaming for Ty Wigginton in that all-star season he had in 2010. But I'm afraid they might have worn out their welcome in the top flight. You can't help but feel they'll struggle with the departure of Sir Charles N'Zogbia (who somehow has yet to win a cap for France). I do like their manager, their alcazar of a central defense, and their ginger poor man's fabregas ben watson. here he is popping a squat.

17. Blackburn - Speaking of wearing out your welcome. They rolled out a pretty disgusting team, played some very unattractive football and lived to speak about it last year. I mean how have Michel Salgado's legs not fallen off yet? This team isn't as fun as the Bellamy, Tuncay, Robbie Savage teams inviting pirate comparisons of the mid 00s, but they still seem to grind it out and stay up every year. Just one question, where the hell are the goals going to come from? The plucky Canadian Hoillet? These were the good old days, "yarr I'm not attractive"

16. Wolves - I was rooting for Wolves on the final day of the season last year, nothing more nothing less. They are a fairly inoffensive team, who at least try to play football which is more than you can say about half of the premiership. O'hara is poised to have another nice year in the midfield, along with the incredibly talented Matt Jarvis. But they concede way too many with poor Stearman falling down all over himself, and Kevin Doyle doesn't quite cut the mustard for me. They'll be happy to survive another year. looking gangster in that turtleneck jaime.

15. Norwich - I've got a funny feeling about them having a good year. Apart from the fact that they rock the green and yellow high school color combo, they seem like they'll be the plucky promoted side to do really well. If only there was a retro day and they could pull out this kit again...
14. West Brom - Hodgson's train wreck at liverpool was a nice little slap in the face to the insistence of the british to play manager/chat roulette every 3 months when someone doesn't have immediate success. Ok, West Ham might have hung on to Avram Grant a little too long, but why did they ever get rid of Zola in the first place? And the fact that there's already a hasvillaboas-beensackedyet.com just reinforces the idea that these managers come in on an insanely short leash, not to speak of Juande Ramos.

Right, about west brom, they've got a decent team with a few class players, (Odemwinge, Brunt, Thomas, Hee Sop Tchoyi) But I think they give up about 4.6 goals per game, so how are they not going to be in the relegation dog fight? why the long face?
13. Newcastle - What can I say about Newcastle that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan. But really, what an infuriating team they must be to support. I'm not going to go into the whole Joey Barton Saga, I think him and Kevin Nolan are a couple of clows, and them and Newcastle supporters probably deserve each other, and their owner. Lovem or Hatem Ben Afra had an awesome start to the season last year before De Jong broke his leg, I was going to put him in my fantasy squad but it looks like he just hurt himself again. Anyway Newcastle are always a wild card, so I'm thinking of rushing Demba Ba pretty hard this semester. this reminds me of a certain chappelle show character


12. Sunderland - Apparently all Steve Bruce team's tend to wear themselves out in the first half of the year, and then limp to the finish. Case and point the swan dives of: Sunderland last year, Wigan the year before that, and Birmingham before that. They were keeping clean sheets like nobody's business but then turned into the epitome of inconsistency. I was never really sold on Jordan Henderson so i dont know if they'll miss him, but Titus Bramble will have to have another out of body experience and repeat his incredible blunder-free performance from last year, or you could see Sunderland hovering around the relegation zone. lay off the gravy over christmas this year stevo.


11. Stoke - Ahh, Stoke. I'll be the first to admit that Joke/Bloke city are the antithesis to all that is good about football. But why pull your hair out and worry about them, you'll only end up looking like their manager. You have to almost marvel at what they've been able to accomplish at that house of horrors they've built up at the Britannia. They don't mince words about their style, and they've essentially created a living for themselves based on one man's freakishly long throw in. So take it for what it's worth, chuckle at Tony Pyewwwwwlis' hat. And accept the fact that they're in the premiership to stay.

To be continued...