Premiership: Worst XI of 2011

they make so much money


Some obvious observations that have been written about in many other places than this, but none the less...

GK - De Gea - You can say he's young, but he's hardly seized the opportunity of a lifetime.

LB - Wayne Bridge - (well, you can't make the list if you don't play I guess). So I'll go with Ashley Cole, who leads the league in whining.

CD - Johnny Evans - It seemed just the other day that he was a promising young prospect. How did we miss that he has white man's disease?

CD - David Luiz - Good entertainment value at least, but I wouldn't pick him at center back for my Saturday co-ed league.

RB - Phil Neville - Hang em up already old man. I think the world has had more than enough Nevilles to last them 2 lifetimes.

RW - Sir Charles N'Zogbia - I absolutely love N'Zogbia. Loved him for Wigan, and Newcastle before that, but his first few months have been absolutely defenseless. Villa were obviously counting on more from him, and still might get it as he's shown signs of life lately.

CM - Charlie Adam - The harshest inclusion on this list, I'm actually a Charlie Adam fan, and of course he was going to come back down to earth after his ridiculous campaign for blackpool, sadly it's become painfully obvious that Prince Kenny is asking too much of the Scot.

CM - Taarabt - All the hype for what? Some sulker who isn't even going to play? Pshh. Clearly talented, but it just doesn't seem to be happening for him.

LW - Samir Nasri - My my my how the mighty have fallen. But in truth, he really shouldn't be getting too many games ahead of Johnson/Milner, certainly not with the form he's shown this season.

ST - Andrei Arshavin - He's almost become painful to watch. Wenger has given him every chance to do something, anything positive, but he could clearly care less when he comes on for his little 20 minute cameos. Gervinho probably isn't half the player of Shava on his day, but he's 5 times the player at the moment.

ST - Wigan, Fulham and Everton Strikers - You know who you are...

Newcastle 3 v Man U 0 Player Ratings

Newcastle 3 v Man U 0 Player Ratings

A fantastic display and result for the Magpies tonight against a dismal Man U side that looks dreadfully short of creativity and guile. Back to back defeats against two opponents not in the “top 6”, combined with a shockingly early exit from the Champs League, has put Sir Alex in a position he hasn’t seen in years, desperate for Jan reinforcements. While I do not believe Sneijder is the answer, Man U will surely need to bring a creative midfield star if they want to keep up w/ Man City (or hope Balotelli blows up Silva’s house with him in it). Newcastle, on the other hand, are in dreamland after deservedly beating Man U for the first time in 10 years and finally having a few players in the squad capable of playing for a Champs League contender. The spine of the team is terrific and if they are to keep their stars in this transfer window, get lucky with injuries, and sign a quality CB and/or attacking player, the top 6 is not implausible.

Newcastle

Krul 6.5- Surprisingly had little to do today and did his job as well as he could. Got lucky that Berbatov’s deflected header hit the bar and Simpson was there for his goal line clearance.

Santon 7.5- For such a young player, he is so composed and intelligent when on the ball and when in defense. He looks like pure class and will only improve if he is able to remain off the injury table.

Coloccini 8- Since Lucas tore his ACL, Collo has officially taken over the mantle as most underrated player in the league. While he lacks the speed to keep up w/ quick strikers, his positioning, intelligence, and skill on the ball are simply world class. Ashley must resign his captain before he leaves for greener pastures.

Williamson 6.5- Won his headers, positioned himself well, and had another solid performance. For a backup CB, he is mighty impressive.

Simpson 7.5- Had one of his best performances of the season against his former team. He kept Park in check throughout and capped off his performance w/ a fantastic goal line clearance to preserve the shutout.

Gutierrez 5- After starting the season so brilliantly, he has looked completely average in the last month. He couldn’t beat Valencia 1 on 1 to save his life today but as usual, he worked his socks off and helped out his defense when need be.

Tiote 8.5- A beast among men. He took Rooney out of the game while protecting his backline brilliantly and looked back to his powerful best. A bid of at least 20 million from one of the top teams will be the only way he doesn’t become a Newcastle legend. Along w/ Ba, he will be sorely missed the next couple weeks.

Cabaye 8- A brilliant all around display capped off by one of the free kicks of the season. For less than 5 mil, he surely is one of the buys of the season and could be starting in midfield for France when Euro cup rolls around this summer. Twice the player of Barton w/ less than half the headache.

R. Taylor 6- The utility man was back to his normal position in midfield and had a decent game. He does not possess the speed to cause much havoc on the right wing but did his job well today.

Amoebi 4.5- With Best playing so poorly lately, and Arfa not having the physical presence needed against Man U, I was actually happy Pardew decided to give Amoebi the surprise start today. While it did not matter because Newcastle won and Amoebi was able to set up the first goal w/ a brilliant flick on header, his touch was awful, positioning even worse, and still looks to have the intelligence of a preschooler on the pitch.

Ba 8.5- Easily the buy of the season so far. To sell Carroll for 35 mil and get Ba on the free has to be one of the sports coups of the century. His touch was world class throughout the match and his goal was taken absolutely brilliantly. His ability to make runs behind the defense, while also being able to play in the zone between the oppositions defense and midfield, has made him one of the most complete strikers in the world. Newcastle fans all over the world will be praying his glass knees hold up until the end of the season.

Subs

Perch 5.5- Did what he needed to do to preserve the shutout.

Best/Obertan- NA

Man U

Lindegard 5.5- Could do nothing with the first goal, needed a stronger tip for the second goal that would have been a sensational save if he had made it, and was left helpless by Jones for the third goal.

Evra 5- The former best LB back in the world had another average game today. He has not looked like the same player since he boycotted the French squad in the WC and will need to get back to his old form quickly if Man U is going to win the title.

Ferdinand 5- He is past his prime and couldn’t really cope w/ the sensational Ba all game. Not a bad game by any stretch of the means but needed to position himself better for Ba’s strike in the 1^st half. He was extremely lucky to have not given Newcastle a penalty when he took out Ba in the box.

Jones 5- He will take a lot of shit for his performance today because of the horrible own goal at the end. However, the own goal was inconsequential as it came when the game was already over and he played pretty decent until then. His yellow card tackle on Ba which led to Cabaye’s free kick rocket was actually an intelligent foul because Ba looked surely to have broken free. Only if Man U wasn’t in such an injury crisis, Sir Alex could have given Jones a game off that he surely deserves.

Valencia 6.5- The fact that Man U’s best attacking threat was from the makeshift RB pretty much described their performance or lack of performance. He dealt w/ Guiterrez easily and was unlucky to be on the losing end today.

Park 5- Was on the periphery all game and don’t remember him doing anything of note. A very average performance from the Korean star.

Giggs 5- At this stage in his career, he is better used as an impact sub and it showed today. He was chasing shadows all game and lacked his typical penetrating touch.

Carrick 5.5- His positioning and touch were above average but he simply could not cope with Newcastle’s dominant midfield. He is the definition of a confidence player and has been playing brilliantly in the last month covering up most of United’s injuries, but he didn’t do enough today.

Nani 5- Besides the move that setup Man U’s best chance in the 2^nd half, he didn’t look like his usual self today. He wasn’t taking on and beating his man 1 on 1 and Santon looked to have him locked up for most of the match.

Rooney 4.5- Maybe he did party too much over the xmas break (British tabloids are having a frenzy over this right now), maybe he lost his form like the beginning of last year, or maybe (and most-likely) he just had one of those poor games superstars have once in a while. Whatever it was, this was his worst game in over a year and he looked completely out of sorts today.

Berbatov 4.5- He played today? Are you sure about that? Besides his weak, lucky deflected header that hit the post, he did absolutely nothing worth noting all game.

Subs

Anderson 5- Didn’t do much when he came on.

Walbeck 5.5- Nice touch which lead to Rooney’s shot that Simpson cleared off the line. Will surely be starting next match.

Chicharito 4.5- Was offside more than he was onside today. Looks badly out of form.

Ref 5- Missed the biggest call of the night as Ferdinand clearly took out Ba’s leg in the penalty box in the 1^st half. However, he was lucky it did not matter as Newcastle won the game handily anyway.

1st Half best XI

The MVP holds off the LVP

GK - Krul/Vorm - These 2 + Stecklenberg and Holland have a surfeit of keepers going forward

RB - Richards - The EPL's answer to Marshawn Lynch. This man is just a beast, a man's man.

CB - V. Kompany - If there's a better center back in the world right now, I'd like to see him.

CB - Coloccini - One of the many vastly improved parts of Pardew's formidible Newcastle.

LB - Jose Enrique - Not as pacy as the typical Prem LB that we've grown accustomed, but boy is he comfortable on the ball.

LM - David Silva - Cooled off since his ridiculous start, still vital to City's success.

CM - Scott Parker - He'd be the first name on my team sheet if I were Fabio Capello right now.

CM - Ramires - Lots of choices here, but it's hard not to like the plucky Brazilian, high ceiling.

RM - Mata - Adds a different dimension to the typically dull Chelsea.

ST - Van Persie - Arsenal suffered without Fabregas, but losing Van Persie is unthinkable for the Gunners.

ST - Louie Suarez/ Sergio Aguero - Take your pick between these two new arrivals, both have had no problems adjusting. Only their teams are headed in opposite directions.

Just Missed: Friedel, Walker, Phil Jones, Vermaalen, Baines, Sinclair, Lucas, Song, Moses, Adebayor, Walters

Christmas Break

Everyone else in the world takes a break for the holidays, but not England. Why, you ask? As DJ Shadow said, "It's the money." There's plenty to talk about with United all of the sudden EVEN on points with city despite playing with only one proper defender. Spurs postponing their annual collapse behind Gareth Bale. Everyone and their brother dropping points at home and failing to take advantage of City's slip up. But I think I'll enjoy what's left of the break myself. Enjoy this semi-old school skills video. Plenty of gems in here, but Viera at 1:11 is my favorite.

That's Racist

I am not a fan of Luis Suarez the man, not in the least. Nor am I any sort of Latin American bourgeois apologist. But my goodness, 8 games?! Let's stamp out racism indeed! It's not a witch hunt, but the FA is setting a ridiculous, baseless standard which I imagine will generate more discussion concerning the length of players suspensions for acts of racism, rather than the reason footballers/people say racist things in the first place. Interesting article on the situation at run of play (before the decision was rendered). Anyway, if the decision holds, Andy Carroll will have to play, and play well for Liverpool to maintain their return to relevance.

Neyyyy Maaaaar

He might be a knobhead, but boy got skills!

Chelsea V Man City Player Ratings

Chelsea v Man City 12.12.11

An even game that ended up being decided by two silly City mistakes in the 2^nd half. Clichy’s sending off helped set up Chelsea’s late dominance which lead to Lescott’s hand ball in the box. Man City scored early through Balotelli’s opener and were certainly on top as they looked to run all over Chelsea’s slow marking defense. However, as the game wore on Chelsea wrestled control of the match through the skill and brilliance of their star wingers, Mata and and Sturridge. Man City have now certainly lost their invincibility in the Premier League and Chelsea are back in title contention.

Chelsea

Czech 5.5 – He is an extremely talented shot stopper, but as he showed again today, he is very average when coping with breakaways. He didn’t have much else to deal with as City looked a little off the pace.

Cole 6.5 – He started the game slowly but got better as the game went on. Like the rest of his back four, he surprisingly had little do deal but performed admirably in his task at hand. However, he has never learned how to cross which still puts him a step below other star left backs in the world.

Terry 7.5 – A complete rock today and seems to be back to his very best. He was slightly at fault for Balotelli’s opener but dominated from the 2^nd minute on.

Ivanovic 5.5 - Horrible positioning and recovering for Balotelli’s goal. However, after that mishap, he performed well with the remarkably little he had to deal with.

Bosingwa 6 – Some decent defending and tantalizing crossing. On most occasions, he dealt with Balotelli well and overall had a solid game.

Romeu 7 - Did what he had to do and never offered City’s attacking players any room. After another solid performance, it looks like Mikel will never get his starting spot back.

Miereles 7 - For the player who seems to have replaced Lampard in the starting lineup, he scored a very Lampard-esque goal when he came into the box to score his volley. Had a very strong first half but was extremely unlucky to have not be given two yellow cards in two leg breaking challenges in the first half. Faded in the second half and came off to a resounding ovation.

Ramires 7 – He does everything well and has to be an automatic starter for Chelsea and Brazil. I love everything he does and he only seems to be getting better. Got the better of City’s center midfielders today and was the main cause of Clichy’s sending off.

Mata 8 - Once again, he was the best player on the pitch today. He got the better of his mirror twin (Silva of course) and seems to be loving life in the Premier League. His passing, movement, intelligence, and skill on the ball were impeccable yet again.

Sturridge 8 – With Mata, he was the difference today. Beautiful twist, turn, and cross to set-up Miereles on his goal. He seemed to be able to beat Clichy 1 on 1 every time he had the ball, and he pretty much did. It was his shot that forced Lescott’s hand ball in the box and surely looks like an automatic starter for England.

Drogba 6.5 – Led the line well but didn’t offer anything special today until City went down a man. Had one beautiful back heel to setup Ramires and showed nice flashes of skill at the very end of the game.

Subs-

Lampard- 6 – Even though he missed his last penalty, he had the guts to come up trumps today in his thunder bolting strike. He will be angry he didn’t get the start, but after scoring the game-winning goal against the best team in the league, how angry can he really be?

Malouda N/A

Mikel N/A

Man City

Joe Hart 5 – Most announcers would say he could do nothing with Miereles goal. But I would disagree because his positioning was weak and the volley was down the middle. However, it would have still been an extremely difficult shot to stop and you definitely couldn’t blame him for it. Conversely, I due put blame on Hart for not knowing Lampard’s penalty was going to be right down the middle. Because Lampard had his placed penalty saved by Newcastle recently, Hart should have known Lampard was going to go with power, not placement. Reina would have known.

Zabaleta 5 – Defensively, he is pretty solid and close to on par w/ Richards. Offensively, he offers less than half then what Richards offers. Put those two together and City are a much worse side w/ Zabaleta at right back and it showed today.

Joleon Lescott 5 – Another solid game today until his foolish handball in the box which lead to Lampard’s game winning penalty. As his body was turned, it was a slightly unlucky penalty to give, but because he kept his hands up, the call was correct. Foolish penalty to give as Sturridge’s shot was clearly going wide.

Vincent Kompany 7.5 – True captains performance today when his team badly needed it in such a hostile environment. Similar to that of Terry, he was a complete rock at the back. Unlucky to be on the losing end.

Gael Clichy 3- Couldn’t cope with Sturridge all game and was deservedly given 2 yellow cards to be sent off early. City has bought a new star left back every year since they became the richest team in the world (Bridge, Zabaleta, Kolarav, and Clichy) and it seems like next year they may have to do it all over again. Why City chose him over Enrique last summer I will never know.

James Milner 6 – The usual Milner game where he did everything pretty well but nothing exceptional. Is that good enough to cement a starting place for City and England over Adam Johnson? I’m not so sure and, to be honest, neither do most.

Garreth Barry 6 - A fantastic start to the game where his touch looked Silva-esque but faded as the game went on. Bruising hip challenge on Ramires in the 55^th that I can feel from a thousand miles away. Couldn’t muster much else as his central partner had such a horrific game.

Yaya Toure 3.5 – Seemed a step slow today and couldn’t get the better of his battle w/ Ramires. Gave the ball away way too easily at times and never offered his usual menacing runs. One of the worst games, if not the worst game, I have ever seen Yaya play.

David Silva 6.5 - His touch, vision, and passing were fantastic as always but he didn’t offer that extra skill and dimension today. Disappointing game by his lofty standards and had to be taken off early as City got more defensive after the red.

Mario Balotelli 6 – Cool as the other side of the pillow to glide by Cech on the first goal. Some fantastic turns and skill, but as usual, his decision making was very poor. He shoots from everywhere when sometimes he should just do the easy pass.

Sergio Aguero 6 – Beautiful strength, turn, and pass to set up Balotelli on his 2^nd minute goal. Looked like a meance throughout the first half and will be angry with himself that he couldn’t put his first half effort inside the box on target. Faded badly in the second half and was taken off early after Clichy’s silly red card.

Subs

Toure 5- Decent job when he came in at right back.

De Jong 5- Couldn’t do much in the latter stages of the match.

Dkeko N/A

Ref- 8 Fantastic game and got the two big calls correct.