Premiership 11/12 Predictions Part One

Whats up world. Been a pretty long layoff I know, and it's interesting to see the spam and riff-raff that has accumulated over these few months of inactivity, but that doesn't mean I can't come in here and throw-down a little premiership preview, right? Anyway here's a brief synopsis for each team, what their ceiling is, maybe a player to keep an eye on, and where I think they'll finish. Without further ado...

20. & 19. Swansea & QPR, I'm not going to sit here and act like I know a damn thing about either of these two teams. QPR is an intriguing acronym, and Swansea has a nice ring to it too, but I think I'd rather see Crystal Palace back in the prem. Crystal Palace...just rolls off the tongue.

18. Wigan - Another great name, and sentimental favorites of mine for several years now, (I can't help but think of Greg screaming for Ty Wigginton in that all-star season he had in 2010. But I'm afraid they might have worn out their welcome in the top flight. You can't help but feel they'll struggle with the departure of Sir Charles N'Zogbia (who somehow has yet to win a cap for France). I do like their manager, their alcazar of a central defense, and their ginger poor man's fabregas ben watson. here he is popping a squat.

17. Blackburn - Speaking of wearing out your welcome. They rolled out a pretty disgusting team, played some very unattractive football and lived to speak about it last year. I mean how have Michel Salgado's legs not fallen off yet? This team isn't as fun as the Bellamy, Tuncay, Robbie Savage teams inviting pirate comparisons of the mid 00s, but they still seem to grind it out and stay up every year. Just one question, where the hell are the goals going to come from? The plucky Canadian Hoillet? These were the good old days, "yarr I'm not attractive"

16. Wolves - I was rooting for Wolves on the final day of the season last year, nothing more nothing less. They are a fairly inoffensive team, who at least try to play football which is more than you can say about half of the premiership. O'hara is poised to have another nice year in the midfield, along with the incredibly talented Matt Jarvis. But they concede way too many with poor Stearman falling down all over himself, and Kevin Doyle doesn't quite cut the mustard for me. They'll be happy to survive another year. looking gangster in that turtleneck jaime.

15. Norwich - I've got a funny feeling about them having a good year. Apart from the fact that they rock the green and yellow high school color combo, they seem like they'll be the plucky promoted side to do really well. If only there was a retro day and they could pull out this kit again...
14. West Brom - Hodgson's train wreck at liverpool was a nice little slap in the face to the insistence of the british to play manager/chat roulette every 3 months when someone doesn't have immediate success. Ok, West Ham might have hung on to Avram Grant a little too long, but why did they ever get rid of Zola in the first place? And the fact that there's already a hasvillaboas-beensackedyet.com just reinforces the idea that these managers come in on an insanely short leash, not to speak of Juande Ramos.

Right, about west brom, they've got a decent team with a few class players, (Odemwinge, Brunt, Thomas, Hee Sop Tchoyi) But I think they give up about 4.6 goals per game, so how are they not going to be in the relegation dog fight? why the long face?
13. Newcastle - What can I say about Newcastle that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan. But really, what an infuriating team they must be to support. I'm not going to go into the whole Joey Barton Saga, I think him and Kevin Nolan are a couple of clows, and them and Newcastle supporters probably deserve each other, and their owner. Lovem or Hatem Ben Afra had an awesome start to the season last year before De Jong broke his leg, I was going to put him in my fantasy squad but it looks like he just hurt himself again. Anyway Newcastle are always a wild card, so I'm thinking of rushing Demba Ba pretty hard this semester. this reminds me of a certain chappelle show character


12. Sunderland - Apparently all Steve Bruce team's tend to wear themselves out in the first half of the year, and then limp to the finish. Case and point the swan dives of: Sunderland last year, Wigan the year before that, and Birmingham before that. They were keeping clean sheets like nobody's business but then turned into the epitome of inconsistency. I was never really sold on Jordan Henderson so i dont know if they'll miss him, but Titus Bramble will have to have another out of body experience and repeat his incredible blunder-free performance from last year, or you could see Sunderland hovering around the relegation zone. lay off the gravy over christmas this year stevo.


11. Stoke - Ahh, Stoke. I'll be the first to admit that Joke/Bloke city are the antithesis to all that is good about football. But why pull your hair out and worry about them, you'll only end up looking like their manager. You have to almost marvel at what they've been able to accomplish at that house of horrors they've built up at the Britannia. They don't mince words about their style, and they've essentially created a living for themselves based on one man's freakishly long throw in. So take it for what it's worth, chuckle at Tony Pyewwwwwlis' hat. And accept the fact that they're in the premiership to stay.

To be continued...