Friday, August 5, 2011

Premiership Predictions Part Deux

10. Bolton - Owen Coyle is no Sam Allardyce, he's not as big of an ass, but that only makes Bolton just another team instead of a team who's easy to hate. And its hard not to root for Stuart Holden, our only other non-GK not named Clint who gets regular time in the Prem. Why did Donovan leave Everton? Oh yeah, because he likes making mexican lotto commercials, and LA traffic. Bolton will be right smack in the middle of the table where they belong. Next.

9. Fulham - The classic small market team. And there's the American affinity with McBride and Bocanegra, and don't forget Eddie Johnson. I still don't really believe the success that Dempsey has had the past two years, but I can't argue with it. Fulham are a solid team, watching Haangeland attack corners is entertaining, but they're not going to blow anyone out of the water. Should challenge for Europe if Bobby Zamora stays healthy.


8. Everton - Hard not to like what the toffees bring to the table. Remember when they played liverpool like 4 times in 10 days and there was a total of 2 goals? They've been known to lay the odd stinker, but they always seem to get a lot out of their guys in the Tim Cahill, Phil Jagielka vein. Louis Saha is one of my favorites, and I hope he can stay healthy this year. They only tend to let themselves down with their atrocious starts to the season. Maybe David Moyes and Steve Bruce should trade notes.
should i give him the stick?

7. Villa - I hope that they can return to the Villa of two years ago, granted they'll have to do it again after selling their two best players so I don't want to get too carried away. But if Agbonlahor is healthy and Nzogbia plays up to his level they should be in Europe. I bet James Milner is getting pretty tired of Adebayor's company on the Man City bench, and I wonder if Ashley Young and Downing will get their time. Think of how stacked this team would be if everyone stuck around... But anyway the main player I'm looking forward to watching of theirs is good old Mr. Given. No better keeper in the premiership for my money.
goodbye butters.

6. Spurs - Ahh, good old Spurs, Man City kind of stole their thunder as the threat to the traditional big 4, but they've taken some significant strides in the past couple years under arry oudini. But as is the case with another North-London club, you're never quite convinced that they are going come good in the end. Spurs are like the cool stepparent that starts out too good to be true and inevitably disappoints. Luka Modric played like the Rosicky of old last year, Van Der Vaart is one of those guys who has that sixth sense of letting the game come to him, and Garreth Bale is probably the best left-sider in the world. No, attacking is not their problem. The fact that they ran Gomes out there for as long as they did and kind of lived to tell about it is comical enough. Spurs, liverpool and arsenal make up the second tier of premiership clubs if you ask me.
i'll have a royale with cheese

5. Liverpool - What ever happened to Steven Gerrard, he used to be my favorite player to watch, I guess age will do that to you. Suarez will be loved by the Kop and loathed by the rest of England for his typical Latino antics and serpentine personality. (lest we forget what he did to Ghana) And Dirk Kuyt's work rate, blah, blah, blah. Downing will help, you love a natural left footer on the wing. Adam Johnson, N'zogbia, Downing, they're all devastating. They have a strong enough squad on paper to play with anyone, they just need to prove to themselves that they can put stretches together like they are capable of. They could easily knock Arsenal out of 4th this year.
That was probably going in

4. Arsenal - Stubborn old Bob Crachit Uncle Scrooge Arsene Wenger. We get it that its him against the world, we get the refusal to sign players to fill the obvious needs of the club which have been the same for the past 6 years. It almost doesn't matter or not whether Wenger is crazy or he truly believes that this group of players can win at this point, (which he would have to be crazy to think, because we've seen the answer the past 5 is a resounding no, no they can't). One almost has to conclude that Wenger is now just being stubborn for stubborn's sake and that Arsenal are going to play their passing football, concede soft goals, score incredible goals, and not win any silverware. Why the hell else would he not sign like 8 league 2 defenders and run them out there instead of Sebastien Squillaci, Sol Campbell, Mikel Silvestre, and Philippe Senderos. What kind of odds could you get on Van Persie playing more than 30 premier league games this year?

3. Chelsea - Certainly their squad is deep and talented enough to withstand the grind of the season, and it's incredible that they were still in the hunt last year as bad as they played for a whole 2 months. But you have to wonder about the chemistry, especially up top with Torres and Drogba who haven't ever looked comfortable together, and throw in the whole Anelka factor who you get the feeling that he might not be comfortable even playing alongside himself. Malouda is the player that really fascinates me though, it's not often that you play better in the premiership than you do in France, but that's exactly what's happened to old Flourent. They'll be robust at the back though, bet your bottom dollar.

2. Mercianary City - The Hessians are coming. Is this the best team money can buy? Not quite. But that bench is getting pretty crowded. If you were James Milner, SW-P, Adam Johnson, Clichy what would you do? You'd really rather piss away the prime of your career for 20 minutes a game instead of being a star on Aston Villa or Newcastle or wherever just so you can train with Balotelli? I know I would not, and I think that causes some palpable tension to linger around City all the time. That's why I don't quite trust them like I do United or Chelsea where everyone knows their roles and is 100% for the team. City feels more like a recurring tryout for some kind of perverted fantasy all-star team. How are they going to find Jo any playing time? I'm a Balotelli unintentional comedy fan


1. United - They'll have their work cut out for them, but as long as that gum-chewing tight ass is on the sidelines and Phil Dowd is prowling the grounds, they're always going to be the favorites. No honestly, Ferguson might be the most feared man in the premiership, but that doesn't substitute for the all-too-predictable miraculous comebacks they pull out of their ass week in and week out. I have to think that Dimitar is getting a little tired of riding the pine behind Chicharito, and it will be interesting to see just how deep Rooney will continue to drop into midfield before he is actually playing Scholes position, and hey, now that he's gone...

To Recap, thats:
The Pick of the Litter: 1) United, 2) City, 3) Chelsea
The Second Cut: 4) Arsenal, 5) Liverpool, 6) Spurs
The Steady Eddies: 7) Villa, 8) Everton, 9) Fulham, 10) Bolton
The Mixed Bags: 11) Stoke City, 12) Sunderland, 13) Newcastle, 14) West Brom
The Fortunate Sons: 15)Norwich, 16) Wolves, 17) Blackburn
The Long Goodbyes: 18) Wigan, 19) QPR, 20)Swansea

1 comment:

Stefan Lim said...

I think this is a good prediction of the table.